I RAN 18 Minutes Straight Today!

Yes, you read that correctly.  This non-runner ran 18 minutes straight today!  Keep in mind that running is the same as jogging in my mind.  It was an active bouncing jog for longer than I think I have jogged or run since I was 18.  I started with the Couch to 5K program to get me running.  I was in week 3 and didn't run for almost a week.  I ran a little the past couple of days but my maximum running time has only been 5 minutes straight.  I was actually quite happy with the 5 minutes I had built up to.  A month ago I was wheezing at 3 minutes.

With stop watch in hand I was ready to alternate 5 min jogging with 5 min walking.  I warmed up with a 5 minute walk and then started jogging.  I had walked this path two days ago and am pretty sure I was told it's 2.5 miles.  It doesn't seem like it though.  Sorry Maria, I have to get my GPS and track it to check the distance.  :)   Two and a half minutes in to my run, I started getting winded but decided to tuck the stop watch up my sleeve and not look at it again and go as far as I could and then look at it.  Then I decided I could go the entire distance.  It was chilly at first and I was sniffling like crazy.  Luckily I thought to tuck tissue up my sleeve.  I didn't stop to blow though.....it was run and wipe for me.  I keep hearing a voice say, "what do you mean you can't run? You can run.".  I heard another voice telling me, "once you hit 30 minutes, you can run a marathon!".  People tell me you have to run past that point where you want to stop.  So I did.

I decided I could make it all the way back to where I started, and I did.  I looked at my watch and it was just over 18 minutes.  Holy cow!  I ran 18 minutes!  I can't believe it!  (Mind you my shins could believe it!)  I posted yesterday how proud I was but tonight I was really proud. I was glad I had an ice pack in my cooler in the car from my lunch box.  I iced my shin and stretched real good before my boot camp class.  And guess what we started with?  Yeah....more running.  Lunges up a hill, jumping jacks, squats, down the hill and repeat two more times before running back again.  Only by this time it was dark and I squished in a mucky puddle of water so I ran back and finished our workout indoors with squishy feet.  I needed to stretch out those running shoes.  Maybe the water will help.  :)

So even though I skipped Zumba tonight so that I could stay and watch my daughter score the winning final run in her softball game tonight, I pushed myself to another new limit.  I feel like I'm getting sick and hope that I'm wrong.  My head, throat and body ache so I will go to bed very soon here.  It's hitting me like a brick now that I'm home again, showered and sitting.  My head feels like it weighs a ton.  I don't know how I did what I did tonight feeling the way I feel.  We are truly capable of so much more than we think.  I'm learning how true that really is.

All you worry warts out there, don't worry.  I am taking care of myself.  I will only push to safe limits.  Like running 20 minutes next time!!!  Word on the street is that I can't go backwards, only forward.  Until next time, this running machine needs to get some sleep so she doesn't break down.  Thanks for reading and sharing in my journey.  If I can do it, so can you!

Proud

I am proud today.  I am proud of .....

Making good choices.
Learning to balance life.
Pushing myself to new limits.
My beautiful children.
How I am feeling inside and out.
My increased endurance.
My 57 pound weight loss.
Recognizing hunger.
Recognizing satiety.
Prepping, planning, preparing all my food for each day.
All the nutrients I feed by body.
How darn awesome I feel.
To have such great family, friends and colleagues supporting me.
To be married to the most supportive loving man around! (I love you baby if you read this!)

I am proud today, tomorrow, the next day and the next.

Negative Nellies Be Gone

When my children were babies I had people tell me to wait until they get to the next magic age.  Wait until they start walking and how busy you'll become and how much harder it gets.  Then it's the terrible twos that are dreaded.  Then it's the whining 4s and 5s.  Then it's wait until they are a teenager stage.  Why is it people have to always prepare you for the negative side of whatever the situation?  I waited for all the horrible stages but never felt them.  I still have two teens left (16 and 18) and am yet to feel the teenager syndrome.  I have some pretty awesome kids but I'm not feeling the teen pain that I was so warned about.

Well, now, I'm hearing it again.  Why do people feel like they have to compare my weight loss to their failures with it?  Why do people have to tell me about the plateau and how hard it is?   Why do they feel obligated to tell me about their great weight loss and how they put it back on again?   Are they giving me warnings to be careful?  Is it a passive aggressive way of telling me that I will probably fail because most people that lose weight will gain it back?  Is it easier to share stories of failure than it is to share congratulations without weighting it down?

I don't know what the reason is but I'm glad that I can see past it.  I'm glad that when the Negative Nelly shares their tale with me that I am able to listen with empathy and know that I don't need to worry about that.  I beat it with all the kid age stories and I will beat it with my weight and fitness.  This is a lifetime forever change.  I just may plateau in my weight but as long as I am still living my lifetime changes, staying fit, eating well, is that really a plateau?  And even so.......will I care?  My goal is to be physically fit, active and healthy.  If I'm still on track doing what I should be doing......isn't that part of the plan?  Sure, I'll have to plateau eventually.  I can't keep losing 2, 3 or 4 pounds a week.  When that time comes, I'll be ready for it.  Only I won't let it scare me.

Remember everyone, I am in this for the long haul.  I am in this for life.  I am making changes that are with me to stay.  Mark my words, I will not be going back to where I was three months ago, 55 pounds ago.  When I set my mind to something, watch out!  So to all the Negative Nellies out there, please be gone! Give me Positive Polly any day!

I Said a Bad Word Today!

Ok, here, Mrs. Positive, I can do anything I set my mind to set a bad word today.  I said the words, "I can't" in reference to doing lunges.  What was I thinking?!  Well, I was surely reminded very quickly by my one of my instructors this morning that it starts with what is in the head.  She said "why can't you?".  I replied I didn't know but whenever I tried my legs wiggled, my balance staggers and I can't get that bottom leg parallel to the ground.  Well.....then I got a 3 minute lecture on how it all starts in the mind and if I say I can't then I won't, so I need to tell myself I can....yada yada yada. Ha.  I KNOW this.  I practice this everyday and once in awhile it slips.  It slipped today.

That's okay though because now I AM going to do lunges!  I am going to lunge every day until I have the lunge down pat!  I can do lunges.  I will do lunges.  I will start right now to do lunges.  I will build the strength, the neuron transmission , the balance, and whatever else it takes to do lunges.  I will.   I can.  I am a machine.

I'm Addicted to Zumba!

I think I'm a Zumba junkie! My workout schedule is changing. I'm doing 5-6 Zumba classes a week now. I'm finally getting the hang of it.  It is my most favorite workout of all.  I'm learning how to work it hard each session, targeting all the muscle groups and almost always getting a 700+ calorie burn from it.  Who would have thought burning 700 calories to be so much fun!  Take a look below to see a sample in action.



Tonight I met up with an old friend at Zumba.  Earlier this week I brought along another friend to Zumba.  A couple weeks ago, I dragged another friend to Zumba.  I've organized a Zumba class to take place at the school I work at on Fridays starting later next month.  Within one day I have 20 people who are interested in coming to the class.  It will be a blast to do with co-workers  and exciting to see others get introduced to it.  Looking forward to it!

I've never been a dancer but have always adored watching dancing. I had no idea what the salsa was a few weeks ago.  But it surely is incorporated a lot into Zumba.  I felt like a klutz the first several weeks doing it.  I'm still pretty clunky but am feeling like I half way am getting the hang of it.   I no longer have to stare at the instructor the entire time trying to keep up.  I don't have to hide in the back of the class anymore either.  I'm learning how similar the different moves are. I've learned how everything comes in four and eight counts.  And I'm finding that my hips actually know how to shake, kinda.  And when I don't know......I just fake it, wiggle, shake, smile and keep on moving until I can catch up again.

I've taken the class from a few instructors now but am really loving Maria's class best.  She's amazing.  She makes us smile and keeps us working the entire time.  No one can shake it like Maria!  She's recently added some extra classes at a new place on times I had available.  Bargain.

It has surely become an addiction for me.  The music is fun.  The beat is a blast.  I just plain love it!  If you've never Zumba'd before, I encourage you to look for a Zumba class near you!  Now I must get to bed so I can get up and Zumba again!

What Matters Most - Size or Jiggles?

Isn't it interesting how for some people a size 14 is horrible and others (ME!) would die to fit into a 14. Ok, not literally die, but would certainly LOVE to buy a 14.  Right now I'm happy buying x-large clothes instead of 2x or 3x.  I'm happy that I can run short stints mixed with my walking.  I'm happy that my balance has improved leaps and bounds.  I'm happy that I have extra room in my clothes.  And sometimes I hear or read others that are so disappointed with their size 14 or those x-large clothes.  It is important for me to learn that it is not about anyone else but ME!  Every individual's battle is just that, individual.

Maybe when I get to a 14, I'll keep going and work toward a 12.  Maybe even then I'll go for a 10.  HA!  I don't remember wearing a 10, EVER!  I remember squeezing into 12's in high school.....and I mean SQUEEZING.  So an 8, uh, yeah, can't imagine that ever.  I think I'm just big boned. Yeah.  We're all big boned, right.  :)

I look forward to finding out what a size 14 will feel like again.  I wonder when I'm there if I'll be in the same boat as above where I still see the extra layers still ON me and not the extra layers that are gone.  When I'm a 14, will I then not be satisfied until I'm a 12 or a 10 or an 8?  I don't have any magic number goals.  I don't think I need them.

Wait, maybe I do.  I want a really low bmi.  I want lots of muscles and strength. I want no wiggly jiggly stuff.  Okay, how about just a teeny tiny bit of jiggly stuff.  Kim, my kickboxing instructor calls the arm jiggles bingo arms.  I don't want any bingo arms, legs, hips, butt, love handles, or thighs! So maybe that is my magic number.  I'll count my jiggles.  

Yep, that's it.  I just figured it out.  I have no magic number or size.  I want to exercise everyday because it's fun and I love it.  I want to keep trying new sports and exercises because of the joy it brings me.  I want keep living no matter what size I turn out to be, and am.  So when I meet 14 again, I'll have to write again how I'm feeling, how many jiggles I have left, and see where my head is at then.  For now, I'm gonna keep on keepin' on demolishing the jiggles.

Refuse to Fail

I must start with the inspiration for this post coming from a fellow Fitness Ridge Resort future attendee, Cat.  She got inside my head and posted my thoughts on her blog here.  In talking about her obsessively positive attitude she also mentions how she battles daily with her negative side.  I'd like to think I'm pretty positive also most of the time, especially the past few months.  However, I must admit that at times it is hard.  There are times where you just want to be like so many people and throw in the towel and look at the glass half empty.  But truthfully, the afterglow or affects of thinking in a positive way are so much more rewarding.  Give it a try next time you find your mind going down the wrong path. Turn it around and take notice in how you feel doing so.  If you find yourself down the wrong thinking path....take note of how awful it feels and turn around immediately!  Stay on the right track with your thinking and you will be rewarded.

Cat also wrote about starting her weight loss journey in January and contemplated if this would be the beginning to another failure.  I think most of us in the losing weight game have been there, more times than we'd be willing to count, me included.  I've tried every gimmick around looking for the easy way out but it never came.  As I started my journey again this time, I too tried to figure out if this was really IT.  I didn't want to tell too many people at first for that fear of failing.  Sometimes I would even question myself and try to figure out if this time was really going to be different.

For whatever reason, this time is so totally different!  I know that now.  That doesn't mean I don't have those nasty thoughts that cross through my mind and make me wonder if truly this is going to be IT.  IT being the time I follow through to the end and get to my goal weight, whatever that ultimately will be.  When those thoughts come, I quickly realize how determined I am for so many things this time around. It is about so much more than just losing weight to me.  I am excited about being able to do things I haven't had the nerve to try in years, or ever.  I'm thrilled about living, really living.

Cat wrote, "What is going on to make the difference this time?"  I ask myself that same question.  For me, it is life.  Plain and simple...life.  I want to choose life and living.  I want to run if I'm being chased.  I want to fit in places that are cumbersome or impossible when overweight.  Diabetes runs in my family and so far I've dodged it.  I want to continue to keep it at bay, forever!  I don't ever want to give myself shots because I'm a big wimp and hate needles.  I want to run and play with my grandkids.  I want to go to the water park and not get tired out from all the stair climbs.  I want to fit on every roller coaster with my daughter.  I want to be strong, really strong so that I can do anything!  I want to enjoy buying clothes again.  I want to stay cancer-free, heart attack free and fat free!  I want good, long, fit health for the rest of my life!

I don't need to be skinny, whatever skinny really is.  I don't need to be a certain weight.  I have no idea  where I want to be but I think I'll know when I'm there.

But why now?  Why this time is it different?  I don't know.  But it is.  It truly is.

I am enjoying every second of everything I am doing now.  I love the strength I am feeling.  I love that my clothes are fitting.  I love that I am sleeping well, eating well, exercising, and  staying positive.  I love everything about how I'm feeling.  I love that my balance is improving.  I love that I am trying new things.  I love that it's getting easier and will keep getting easier to try new things.  I love the world that is opening up.  In 2010, I have tried for the first time yoga, Zumba, kickboxing, step aerobics, and bosu circuit training.  I got on ice skates for the first time since high school.  I played racquetball for the first time since before cancer (9 years).  And there are many sports I am looking forward to doing either again or for the first time.

I can't wait for warm weather so I can drag someone out to play tennis with me.  I can't wait to visit my friend Lora in Alpena and go kayaking.  I 'm looking forward to riding bikes with my daughter for the first time in........ uhm.......forever maybe.   Maybe I'll get inline skates.  Maybe next winter I'll get around to downhill and cross country skiing.  Maybe I'll love running after I do this 5k and work toward a 10k next.  Maybe I'll Zumba my way through the rest of my life.  No matter what, I am addicted to the feeling I have after trying every new sport or exercise.  The feeling of accomplishment is awesome.

So with all this love and joy for everything about the way I'm living my life right now, how could this be anything other than different?  Cat is right.  Failure is not an option.  Failure is not in my vocabulary.  And if I do fail at anything, it is simply a longer path to success.  I will not give up.  Ever.  I am strong. I will stay strong.  I refuse to fail.  Thank you to everyone around me supporting me!!!!

Georgia

I'm writing this one for my mother who said to me tonight during my third day of my visit with her in Georgia, "I keep checking your blog but you haven't updated it." 

So here Mom.  Consider it updated.  :)

Great visit.  I got a week pass to the local Y and have taken a Zumba class each day.  We climbed Stone Mountain. See, me pointing there....kinda.  Climbed to the tippy top.  It was a GORGEOUS day for the hike.  Nothing like the hikes I'll be having at Fitness Ridge, but fun none the less.  And I've gotten in a fair amount of walking too.  Eating well.  Mani/pedi tonight was nice tonight.  Staying on track with all. Tomorrow there is no Zumba class so I'll have to figure out what to do on my own.  I may just do another walk/run.  It's time for me to start week 3 of the Couch to 5K program.  I think I'll do that tomorrow. 

Getting good sleep, good for my hormones and losing weight.  Good night.

Down 52 Pounds

How did I carry around that extra 50 pounds?

The best part about being so overweight is losing 50 pounds and everyone says how great you're looking and even calls me skinny!  Ha!  That is very funny.  I have a long way to go before I could ever really fit into that category.  Actually, I have never in my lifetime been skinny.  That's okay though, I don't mind hearing it.  It gives me a giggle.  Each time I see the inches still left around my thighs, butt and stomach, I am reminded that my journey is far from over.  My strength has not wavered.  I will continue to stay strong.  I will be celebrating another 50 in 2010.  I look forward to sharing THAT story with everyone.

Shin Pain to the Rescue

Ouchie ouie my shins hurt.  Twas a late night at work but I did come home and get in a short workout on the treadmill.  Day 3 of Week 2 of Couch to 5K.  I LOVE ICE.  I'm in love with ice.  Ice is awesome. What would we do without ice?  When are my shins going to stop hurting when I try to run?  I want to hurry up and work through this ridiculous pain.  I've been working out solid since mid-December and I NOW have to start with shin issues?!  What the heck?  I can't even kneel on my knees and sit back slightly because they scream at me.  I need a quick shin fix please.

Alright, fine.  There are no quick fixes.

I worked a shift like I worked far too many times in my past today.  15 hours + sitting at my desk.  Sitting.  Sitting.  And more sitting.  I went to the ice arena (part of the school I work at) again this afternoon for a few minutes on the ice.  At least until I fell up against the side of the rink and banged my pinky on my right hand while trying to protect the thumb on my left hand.  That's about when I decided maybe I better not skate too long.  The good news is that this was my fourth time on the ice and I'm feeling much more confident with my balance.  I'll get there.

I also took a 30 minute walk around the parking lot in the early evening.  Then went back to my desk and sat on my bottom again for a few more hours.  Let me tell you...... I hurt everywhere coming home.  My whole body ached from so much sitting!!!  It is no wonder I've been in so much pain the past few years.  It's from lack of movement during my long work days.  I need to find ways to make myself move more during the day.  I'm killing myself by sitting there.

I feel numb.  I feel stiff.  I feel achy.  I feel tense.  I feel sore.  And worst of all, I feel tired.  Only now I'm so much more in tune with how awful I feel after working one of these long days.  It is evident that I must continue to find balance with work, home, family and health.  I was dead tired and brain dead but forced myself to get on the treadmill.  I'm sure glad I did.  I'd be even more glad if these shins weren't an issue but now I know when I finally lay down I will sleep better, even though I still came short of my target for calorie burn today by 500 calories.

So that's how my shin pain is coming to my rescue.  I ran to beat the pain from sitting far too long at work.  Now there's no more pain from stiffness, numbness, achy, tenseness because I'm too sore with shin pain.  :)  What a bargain.  Oh well, iced and ready for bed.  Night.

My Week in a Nutshell

• Sat -High -Walk/Jogged in the rain! Cleaned bedroom. Packed most of suitcase for upcoming trip. Made it to work until wee hours of the morning.  Productive day.  Perfect for a rainy dreary Michigan March day.  Low - didn't get in enough exercise and ate leftover birthday cake when I got home at 1 am before going to bed.  Ooops.  :(

• Sun - Back to work.  Racquetball for two hours. Screaming shins that got ice! Back to work. Back home to finish packing, laundry, cleaning, everything (food, clothes, coffee) ready for today.  No wallyball because of hand injury.  :(  Instead walk/jog/walk followed by a bit of Ab work while watching Celebrity Apprentice.  ICE! Stretch. Shower. Late night to bed.

Mon morning weight - down 3 pounds from Saturday so I guess it took a couple days to catch up to me.  Woot!

• Mon - work like a dog day.  In super early.  Staying super late.  Brought gym clothes. Workout somewhere in between. Crunch mode with this report I'm working on.
• Tues - work like a dog day and get this darn report COMPLETELY turned in! No kickboxing :( . Zumba! :) Then trying out cardio kickboxing. Yay.  
• Wed - Personal trainer in the morning. Get everything caught up at work to leave for a few days. Hoping to make appt with orthopedic doc about my hand for this day.  Walk/Jog/Walk and catch up on Biggest Loser/ American Idol from last week still.
• Thurs - Last minute details before trip. Airport at 10 AM.  Then Georgia on my mind! :)
• Fri-Sat-Sun - What to do in Georgia?  Hoping to climb Stone Mountain and go for good hikes/walks, somewhere.  
• Mon - fly home and back to the grindstone.

No Cat Life for Me

My Saturday morning weight this week is exactly as last week.  Saturdays are my official weigh in day since that is what I started with Weight Watchers.  Bummer for me.  Can't believe I had a week where I didn't lose.  I worked out a fraction of what my body was conditioned too.  I didn't due any weight training because of my left thumb/hand.  I was stressed with some work stuff.  I lost track of efficient calorie counting but thought I was staying within where I needed to be.  All of that together was clearly a bad combination.  Wouldn't it be nice to be a cat about now?  No worries except kickin' back and keeping clean.

Today is a new week.  My thumb is still hurting when I take the splint off.  I'm sitting here trying to decide if  I can make it through my boot camp and kickboxing class today.  I can modify everything so that I only use one arm.  But so much of these two classes use both arms.   I have to work this weekend on a report that is due this week for work and I'm going to be stressed about that until it is complete and accurate.  I'm considering skipping my classes, going for a long walk/run and then getting into work earlier than I expected. Crud.  Guilt feelings for thinking about not going to classes.  Guilt feelings for being behind in work. Guilt feelings for not making a decision and wasting time waking up here.  I must STOP this thinking.

My brain doesn't stop.  Ever.  Readers who know me, know this.

I'm reading a couple books on hormones and metabolism now and learning things like how stress creates the hormone cortisol, known to add belly fat.  Also how important sleep is to losing weight.  We create important growth hormones during deep sleep that contribute to us being able to recognize hunger.  My guilty thinking causes stress and interferes with sleep.  Again, I MUST stop and I know this.  What will I do about it?

Thinking.

I need a plan.  I need plan for my day to put me back on track with diet, exercise, work and stress.  I need a plan that includes unpacking from my conference, planning healthy meals for the next few days, shopping for healthy food, laundry, spending time with family, going to work, planning for next trip (leaving for parents in Georgia on Thursday this week for a long weekend), and of course making sure my calorie burn and steps are in for today.  I need a plan that gets all these in, without causing stress.

1. Run/walk with Rob in neighborhood.
2. Not going to classes.  Protecting thumb so it can heal faster.
3. Start list of what to pack for next trip.  Thursday morning gets here QUICK once thew work week gets here.
4. Unpack conference suitcase and stuff.
5. Make list of food/meals/shopping needed for day, for week.
6. Send Rob (hubby) to store for me.
7. Shower, pack food for late night at work and head to work.
8. FOCUS at work.  Work hard.  Work smart.  Take walking and stretch breaks on the hour.  Schedule in one run/walk to get  heart beat up.
9. Leave work by midnight, sleep by 1 AM, awake tomorrow by 9 AM.  (trying not to let sleep patterns get too off track and this is pretty off track as it is.......but when I'm in this work mode I tend to go go go until wee hours of the morning so I need to set guidelines to keep me balanced)

So there it is, my plan.

I know what's next.   Just do it.  Just stick to the plan.  Work smart. Stay focussed. Get things done. Move forward. Keep moving.  Don't stop, but stop thinking. Think if it's work, but not if it causes stress.  Exercise, but protect the left hand. Go go go. Just do it.

No cat life for me!

Back Home

Made it through the conference.  Ate well.  Made excellent choices.  Walked the streets of Grand Rapids on the first night then went back to room and did a Jillian Michaels cardio burn fat dvd.  Second night it was raining so I went to the gym.  Got my $5 worth.  Biked for awhile then treadmill for 75 minutes.  Sweated.  Felt great.  Conferenced this morning, 3 hour ride home, shopped for new court shoes but didnt find any.  Birthday party for my daughter tonight with friends over.  After cake I went for a run/walk with my son...at 11:30 pm.  I didn't have any cardio or exercise in for today and was way behind in steps and calorie burn.  My legs were jumping like crazy and my body was feeling it.  The 20 minute jaunt felt great.  I'm exhausted now. It's past my bedtime. I took my first bite of cake wrapping it up.  (Wasn't hungry earlier...but after the run it looked much better.  Yummy Margot!  I only tried a few bites of the chocolate of course.)  Now I'm kinda wishing I didn't do it but oh well.  Time to move on, go to bed, and right back on track tomorrow.

Conferencing Away

Ugh.  I'm heading to a conference tomorrow afternoon for the rest of the work week.  I'm so picky about eating that I dread trying to figure out what to eat each day.  I'll be packing some food but that's a pain in a hotel without a frig.  I tried looking up restaurants around the hotel I'll be at and looking at menus but it's overwhelming.  I guess I'll plan on sticking to basics for dinner wherever I end up and plan one meal out and try to bring enough for breakfast and lunch that will require minimum things to store in cooler.

Tea bags
Oranges
Apples
Carrots
Almonds
Cheese
Yogurt
Raisins
Popcorn popped in coconut oil (YUM!)
Gallon of filtered water

I guess these items should get me through. I'm missing whole grain though.  Well, any other easy whole food ideas that require little to no work or chopping, let me know!  I  need to stay full so I'm not tempted with the convenient snacks I'll probably see everywhere.  I've enjoyed being in control of what I put in my body.  Oh well, it's just a couple days.  Here's to staying on track while being away from home!

Cheers.

Bum Thum

Darn thumb got injured at wallyball last night.  Not broke so that's good.  Not my right hand, so that's good.  It's not my foot or my leg, so that's good.  Doc called it game keeper's thumb and said it was just the ligament, they splinted it and told me to leave it on for 3-4 days and follow up with orthopedic doc if still hurting.  

I don't think I'll make it 3-4 days with this thing on.  Shower with a plastic bag on....I don't think so.  I try for a day or two so that I have the best chance of this healing quickly.  Driving me crazy already.  One handed living is a bit of a pain.  

I'm missing yoga tonight but I did another day of week 1 on the couch to 5k running plan.  And best of all, I have inspired a friend from work to do the 5K with me at the end of May.  She bought running shoes this weekend.  She's completely out of shape.  She doesn't run.  And today we did our walk/run together.  It was her first day and she did SUPER!   Yay Catherine!  W1D1 done!  

Tomorrow I'm replacing kickboxing with another Zumba class.  I love kickboxing, but I love Zumba too so it's all good!  Then I'm off to a conference for the remainder of the week on Wednesday.  Hope I can tie my shoes good by then cause I'll need to get some extra walking in.

Well, off to get everything I can ready for tomorrow.  One handed work takes so much longer and I'm not a morning person so I'd better get a handle on it all tonight.  Thank you to my dearest husband who is the absolute best for all his support, and especially tonight for helping me get ready.  :)  He is the BEST!  

Finding My Way with Food

I have decided to stop going to Weight Watchers.  I'm not following their point system anymore and I feel like I am motivated on my own.  Those of you that know me personally know how much I've been changing over the past several years with food and nutrition.  I changed many habits that really were nothing more than what I always call eating whole real food.  Of course my portion sizes never shrank and I still binged on things I shouldn't have but as a whole, I ate pretty darn healthy.  With Weight Watchers I saw a lot of the habits I had learned and been practicing over the years getting put to the wayside.  I was okay with this because my goal right now was focussed not only on health and fitness but also to lose weight.  To lose weight I had to make concessions.  So I followed the WW plan to the T.

I started eating low fat, fat free products again.  In past years I had swtiched to whole milk, whole yogurt, sour cream, cheese, etc.  I started following a lot of the Weston Price principals that basically include traditional ways of eating.  But I was wanting to get more bang for my buck now that I was measuring everything.  Eating whole dairy products used up too many points.  I started putting fake sugar into my body again from the yogurt I've been eating.  I had cut out ALL nutrasweet and splenda products but was letting that stuff slowly seep back into my diet.  I even bought egg beaters and far too many frozen diet meals that are loaded with sodium and ingredients I can't pronounce.  I think WW was a great kick start for me and I still think it is a very good program for many people.  I don't think it's for me anymore.

I'm down 46 pounds and ready to concentrate on the eating habits that I want to live the rest of my life by.  I'm counting my calories and recording everything through the body media webiste.  I'm trying to figure out how and what exactly I want to keep doing moving forward.  It's a work in progress and I know I'll get there.  I'm not sure I'm going to stop measuring or give up this delicious low fat yogurt I've been enjoying but I will be transitioning back to the wholesome real food diet my body thrives on.

I will continue to drink water up the wazoo, whatever a wazoo is.  I will not buy the convenient fake low cal foods if I can help it.  I will eat real, live food that either grows from the ground or has a mother.  And I will buy organic as often as I can.  No more egg beaters because I will eat the entire dense nutrient egg.  I will try my best to go back to this traditional real food diet but will continue to measure and track my calories while I still find what works for my body.  I'm confident that I am armed with the knowledge to move forward and still be successful without WW any longer.

I also bought Jillian Michael's book which I am very much enjoying.  I didn't realize she was so much into a more natural holistic way to eating and health.  I've only scanned various chapters so far but hope to get through reading it very soon.  I will be working as hard as ever on my weight loss and health goals while I try to find what works for me in terms of diet and eating.  There is so much contradictory information out there that it seems impossible to muddle through it all and find the 'right' thing.  I'm going to try.  And when I get my head into something, nothing stops me until I have learned everything I can.

I'd love to find a great nutritionist who specializes not only in weight loss, but in particular with people working out a lot trying to build muscle, endurance and looking for the best information to putting it all together.  I'd like to understand better how the carb/protein/fat mix works.  Which ones at which times are best/worst to eat.  How long before and after workouts should I be eating what to get the most sustained calorie burn?  I'm on a mission.  I'm looking for the right path for me to take in choosing food.  I think I'm headed in the right direction and look forward to finding the treasure that awaits me when I get there.

Couch to 5K

Thank you to my mother for posting my last blog entry to her FB profile, and one of her friends commenting about it there.  Wondering who this woman was, I then looked at her profile and sawshe was a fan of the Couch to 5K FB group.  Wow, what's that I wondered.  So a few clicks later I had found an avenue to running the 5k I've got on my list for May 21st.  Here's where I found the 9 week plan, but there are many sites out there and people talking about it.  I found someone blogging their experience with C25k here.  I learned a lot by simply reading about the expeirenced of this first time runner. Keep in mind, I don't run.  I don't jog.  I despise running.  It makes my heart pound and my chest wheeze, and I don't have asthma.  But now I have found a nice plan to get me from the couch to the 5k in 9 weeks! 

Many of my friends, family and collegues are well aware of my dedication to the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk I've had over the past few years.  Especially aware of the long walks and blisters I've endured training for the 60 mile event.  Luckily, running is not even allowed on the event so I've been walking and walking but never jogging.  Well, sometimes, because it's always been about getting the miles in, I would 'try' and jog so I could get done quicker and off my feet, but that would last about 3 houses, maybe, on a good day.  So I ate and walked my way through continued weight gain each year.  Part of my new found strength has included determination to be able to run.  Why?  Because I can't do it.  Because it's a good calorie burn.  Because I wanna be able to run away from someone chasing me.  While looking for classes at my local YMCA I saw a 5K event back in December and decided I would do it.  It is a Strong Kids Campaign that they host on May 21st in Wyandotte, Michigan.

I started trying to run (keep in mind, run=jog, it's all the same to me) on the treadmill for a few seconds at a time.  I'd watch the clock and got it up to .10 mile and would be dying, breathing too hard and slow it back down.  I was convinced that I couldn't do it and my body makes me stop.  I did get up to .15 mile a couple times but that was tough.  I'm a running wimp!

One night while watching the Biggest Loser, I watched them make all the contestants run for 5 minutes.  I said to myself, if they can all run for 5 minutes, then I MUST be able to do it also.  Afterall, many of them were much heavier than myself.  Sure, they're on the tv show and all but they're still doing it and so could I.  So I got on the treadmill, warmed up, increased the speed to a run, decided to watch the time instead of the distance, and 2-3 minutes in was the same thing as usual..........I was dying....couldn't breathe and quit.

The next day at the gym when I was with my trainer I asked her why I couldn't run.  I was trying to figure out if it was in my mind, or real.  We usually work mostly on balance and strength training but today she reminded me to be careful what I wished for.  Yes, she dragged me on the treadmill.  After warming up, I did 2 1/2 minutes without a problem.  I felt good, we stopped.  We went onto other activities but again at the end of our session she took me back to the treadmill.  This time she said I was going to run for 5 minutes. Yikes!  She slowly increased the speed until I was running.  And 2 1/2-3 minutes I was done and had to stop.  Instead of focusing on the time I didn't make, she forced me to focus on what I DID do. She made me repeat it, "I ran today".  So yes, I did run.  She reminded me that I was breathing, my legs were moving and I was running.

The next couple weeks I would do the same thing on my own at home and try again to run for a few minutes but mostly fail each time.  We tried again at the gym a couple times but haven't really done too much with running.  I guess each time I must be running stronger but I still feel like I'm gonna croak any second.  And that whistle that starts up after a few minutes is scary.  So after the stair climb last week, my wonderful trainer, Mary, put me back on the treadmill first thing.  This time after my warm up I ran the 2 1/2 minutes, slowed it down and then I made the 5 minutes!!!!  All the way to 5 minutes!  I love it when I hit a milestone and 5 minutes of straight jogging was a milestone to me.  She assured me that I would be ready for the 5k in May.

I'm even more convinced I'll be ready now that I found this C25K program. I'm so excited about it.  I created a spreadsheet with the schedule in an easy to read format and it totally looks doable.  I shared the program with my 18 year old son last night and today he told me he already started the first day of it.  He said he'll run it with me.  How fun!  He's never been a runner either so this will be fun.  I'm encouraging others to join me and hope that some do.  I hope I can talk my husband into too.  We'll see.  My goal is to finish the run, and preferably by being able to complete it without having to walk any of it.  I know I'm strong willed and determined.  So with this awesome new web of resources for preparing, I'm sure I'll have this thing whipped!  I don't see myself ever being a true 'runner' but this 5k run is surely a goal to help me continue breaking barriers of what I can and can't do when I put my mind to it.  I will soon no longer be a running wimp!

I Can and So Can You!

Fear will not stop me.  The past 10 years have brought me feet surgery (yes, both of them), breast cancer, mastectomy and lymph node dissection, reconstruction, chemotherapy, radiation, carpel tunnel, hysterectomy, hearing loss, balance issues, poly neuropathies in both legs, gall bladder surgery, plantar fasciitis, numbness, tingling and cramping in my right hand that is persistent, cramping in my left rib cage and back (post-reconstruction garbage), shoulder pain, and lymphodema in my left arm.  And since working out my right knee is wanting to join the party.  Here’s the thing though, I can and I will learn to compensate, overcome, and do whatever I need to do to be successful.  I’ve fought with my body over these past years to do things it didn’t want to do but I also gave in too often.  My determination has taught me that I can do more than I ever thought I could do.  I’m seeing improvements in areas I thought were a lost cause.  I’m working hard on balance and see changes that are so encouraging.  I think the single most important thing I have done is change my thinking.  In the past I would have said, “I can’t do that because of xxxx.”  You put whatever you want in the xxxx, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, my  shoulder pain, my knee, my balance, my hand, my strength, my whatever……and there it ended. As soon as I told myself I couldn’t, I couldn’t.  Today however I can.  And I can by telling myself I can, and then DOING IT.  I cannot succeed by not trying.  I may have to make modifications.  As a matter of fact, I make TONS of modifications to everything I’m doing right now.  I do what I can do safely.  I push myself.  I alter an exercise to meet my needs.  I’m getting the help I need from my trainer to try things I’ve been afraid of trying in the past.  I’m stepping outside of my comfort zones and just doing it. 

I’m more in tune when hearing about others aches and pains and excuses, and that’s okay.  I understand where they are coming from.  I was there myself for a very long time.  I think it was my yoga instructor on my first night there, in January, who has really helped me see this.  I struggled so much with the class, the balance, the poses, my body cramping but she always reminds us to listen to our own body.  She also reminds us to see the positive.  Tell yourself you can do it.  Focus, concentrate and do what is right for you.  But mostly it was after class one day when I tried telling her how some of it was hard because of ……(insert excuses here).  She pointed with her finger to her head and said, “it all starts up there”, or something like that.  And she is right.  So from that point forward, I only tell myself what I can do.  As soon as I start hearing myself say I can’t do whatever, I turn it around and either shut up, try it and do it or just do my darn best and tell myself I CAN do it.

I listen to my body.  I’m doing a lot right now and I know that.  I’m learning about new limits that are further than I’ve been pushing.  I’m learning how to make my heart beat fast, how to challenge myself, how to face fears and never say never or I can’t.  I still have pain, and I have limitations but I’m learning to put my focus elsewhere and concentrate on what I can do.  I’m just an average everyday woman like many others out here trying to get healthy and fit.  If I can do it, so can you!  So if you are reading this, take away this small message and tell yourself you can every time you are faced with the thought of “I can’t because ….”.  YES YOU CAN.